Loss

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This was supposed to be the day where I announced, with a flourish, that we had finally become land owners.Yes,our dreams have all come true! Yesterday we finalized the purchase of our dream homestead. But I can’t muster a lot of hoopla, because this has been an absolutely horrible week so far.

Travis, whom you will remember from the beginnings of this blog, took his own life this week.We’re crushed. Stunned. Heartbroken.

He was a thoughtful and caring friend. He was riotously funny, a master of the unexpected (unusual) punchline.He was a deep thinker, an asker of the hard (profound) questions.He was a servant, always looking for a way to be helpful. He was so very kind.

He was my husband’s best friend through many years, serving as groomsman in our wedding.He and Adam spent hours messaging each other when they were distant, and sitting up talking time travel and philosophy when they were near. And I couldn’t even count the hours of Skyrim. Or the constant jokes of “who would win between…”

This summer we became even closer friends. The Ren Fest will do that to you. We spent weeks camping in close proximity, eating around a propane stove, going to the store for sweet tea, narrowly evading the Colorado wildfires. He fed our dogs and taught my niece to shoot a bow and arrow.

Travis was with us when we looked at properties to buy this fall. He was a huge help, reminding us to ask the pertinent questions and giving his opinion without reservation. He was nearly as excited as we were, and had planned with Adam the work they would do this winter to start preparing the land to build.

Travis struggled for years with depression. We knew this. We counseled and prayed with him many times. Yet this loss is so unexpected, so sharp.

We went out to the land today. Our land. And it was hard because we’d not been there without him.

 

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